Stuck With Leaving Something Behind



So last week I announced that I have uploaded my final video to Sonra Productions, a YouTube channel I set up with my friend Neil O Sullivan over two years ago.
I have some hopefully good points to make in this blog that anyone and everyone can benefit from so do hang around while I build up to that!

I have recorded, edited, uploaded and published close 80 videos in the space of my 2 years and 2 months on the channel. One year of which I made sure that a video went out once a week, and if I missed a week then two went out the next. All that despite having internet speeds of 100kb/second and hoping between free trials of editing software while I learned. I'm pretty proud of what I did for the channel!

I did it because I wanted to learn. I wanted to create and I wanted to get better. So I found ways to make it work.

Sonra Productions was to be a shared channel, a group full of different personalities and tastes. So the logo and channel art was going to reflect that. Neutral. Someone on the channel could make a serious dramatic film or a silly 4 second sketch and it would fit just fine!


Part of why I left was because it was mostly just me and yet I remained rigid about the founding fundamentals of the channel. I kept giving Sonra the appearance of an undefined group. This took its toll on me a bit because I managed every aspect of the channel from public to private and got little credit for it. In retrospect, that is my doing.
Eventually I reached a point of diminishing returns, I was no longer learning as much and my interests were changing. However the channel was completely reliant on me or so it seemed. Maybe it was just because I always did so much, so no one else thought to themselves that they needed to step in. In retrospect, that is my doing as well.

This brings me to my point...
It's easy to get stuck wherever you are.

Whether it's a YouTube channel, college work, a job, a relationship or even a place. You invest so much in setting yourself up that it feels like an utter shame to do something else. You can very easily feel guilty and suddenly it turn into the feeling of owing someone. Regardless of the fact that you might not actually owe anything to anyone.

With Sonra Productions I started uploading weekly as a way to have some consistency and encourage regular viewers. Then life happened and I wasn't able to do that any more. It didn't stop me feeling bad about it though, and I was the one who set my own deadlines! Maybe I felt it was integral to my integrity but the guilt, the pressure, it all became too much and that's when I had an epiphany.
It's important to give yourself credit, to stand up and say "I did this, me". No one else is going to do that for you, and if you are constantly seeking praise from others then what are you doing for yourself?

You're stuck because you are afraid of leaving something behind.
But if you don't move on when you need to, won't you be leaving your happiness behind?

That's how I felt anyway.

Investment, 'shmestment. Make you happy and be smart. Iterate and make better, both you and what you do.

I was speaking to a friend of mine recently and I mentioned something that one of my lectures said which stayed with me, "in this industry, if you give someone your time, they will take it".
My friend then told me what stuck with him, "don't do college work for the summer or you will be working for the rest of your life".

So if you'll excuse me, I need to give myself some time and learn to take a break! I'm going to enjoy the last of my summer and worry about blogging when I go back to college in September and have to report on what I'm doing anyway!

Until then, I hope you do the same!

We shall 'shlaters',
Richard.